What kind of sex toy are you? "There are toys that stimulate the g-spot, a-spot, p-spot.."
- Chassedy Johnson
- Nov 10, 2021
- 6 min read
Updated: Feb 2, 2023
What kind of sex toy are you?
I hear all too often, Chassedy I do not like sex toys, they just do not do it for me. For a lot of people this is true, adult toys are not for everyone, this could be their truth but then, for the ones who like to play I be wanting to know how many people are mismatched with their chosen toy or just using it wrong.
There are toys that stimulate the g-spot, a-spot, p-spot. Anal toys, vibrating, heating, suction-based water- proof toys. And what about the glass dildos and life like thrusting ones?
Why does my vibrator look like a fucking mascara and lipstick? Is that a flashlight? Why in hell is my blush is buzzing? It has spikes! Will my dick fit in there? Babe you want to use this? Does the sex doll talk? There are so many things that attach to your mouth and face to enhance oral, I mean which do I need?
One of my favorite occurrences is when someone asks me about the dildos I sell. Usually, a guy and he gets this stupid grin asking, “Is this the size you use?” Truth is I fucking hate dildos. I do not like all the work I have to put in to find a good surface and rhythm and lubricant. Sheesh, just send a “come fuck me text”.
I always have to say, “I do not like dildos, but clients have given good feedback.”
“Oh, you need the real thing?”
I’m absolutely rolling my eyes but, “Not really, I simply do not prefer penetration, I hardly orgasm from it so when I fuck me, I like clitoral stimulation, so that’s a different toy set.”
Now, we in an uninteresting exchange about their oral skills and they are questioning life as they know it sexually.
I said that to say- your toy may not be pleasuring you because you have not quite explored what does bring you pleasure.
Your Pleasure is Your Responsibility
About 66% of women cannot orgasm without clitoral stimulation yet many women approach their self- pleasure rituals from a penetrative place and one of duty to their partners. Penetration is good and can touch places that clitoral stimulation can’t, but if you have never come nor orgasmed from getting dick then you likely will not get it from a dildo or any other solo penetrative action either.
Here’s why, the 4 stages of arousal happen differently in every person and even more different in women. The sexual response cycle has four phases: desire, arousal, orgasm, and resolution. From my experience, men tell me that although they do care about their partners satisfaction, they still get excited and forget to slow down. Both men and women experience these phases, but the timing usually is different because men historically require less to be turned on in most cases and that can leave a woman dissatisfied as the stages progress.
Without a great imagination it may feel less than sexy to think of an inanimate object as desirable. You have no reference point in your mind for such experiences so there is a disconnect. That disconnect settles right in between your labia where your Bartholin glands and skene’s should have made your pussy wet.
The same is true for men (opposite anatomies considered). I am never surprised by the number of men who reveal to me that they can’t or don’t jack-off due to lack of imagination. Besides needing the real thing- the most common issue expressed is the need for a visual form of stimulation. Porn, magazines, nudes, and even work out videos come into play when it comes to males masturbating.
I have had an instance where the man preferred to be inside anything beside his hand. The more inanimate the better. Then there are those men who had to be honest about what type of experience they wanted to have with their self-pleasure. Doll? Torso? Vagina? Masturbator? Ass only? Male or female? Manual or automatic? Quiet or Loud? So many choices.
How do you get around it all and decide?
One of the easiest and most inexpensive ways to pleasure yourself is by using your (clean) hands and fingers to explore and get acquainted with your body. Yes, you can manually pleasure yourself. We are so used to things being quick and automatic that we forget to slow down and use our senses. Sensuality is in the slowness of things, it’s the key factor in pleasure.
Take your hands and caress yourself. Your face, your hairline, feel the pressure of your fingertips on each side of your neck as you feel its girth in your hands. Pay attention to the heat rising from your skin as you drag your fingers over you collar bone and slowly drop down to caress your nipples. Trace your arms and shoulders with your hands. Palm your breast, take your nipples in between your fingertips, explore the differences in pressure you can apply. Notice how that feeling starts to make your pussy tingle or your dick jump. Cuff your balls, stroke your shaft, notice yourself glistening; Feel’s good, don’t it? Explore lower.
Rub your lips- graze your clit, taste your fingers, insert the tips, and taste your juices. The beauty in the process is that you can stop and start as you see fit and even though you don’t need a partner, if you keep exploring, you’ll eventually rub yourself into an ethereal bliss that you can use as sort of a compass when choosing your next toy
SO WHAT TYPE OF TOY IS FOR ME???
“I Really Love Head” Toy Type- clitoral/male suction
To say, “I really love head” is a colossal understatement. Because I am so orally inclined, and it is my preference to get gobbled and swallowed and I really ain’t gone function right if we don’t do Lick-her store before pound town: My mind be absolutely blown when a woman says that head does NOTHING for her or when a person tells me their S/O does NOT like receiving oral- specifically cunnilingus. Like sirs and ma’ams!!!! Y’all still ain’t found the clit yet huh? My preferred sex toy is any variation of a clitoral stimulator. They currently have clit stimulators that simulate suction, pulsating and amateur licking at best. It all depends on what you require to cum. The guys have some neat options too. Their selection is a vast array of lips and mouth shapes. All ethnicities, shapes and textures some suck and twist and heat. All they have to do is add lube.
“It’s the D*ck For Me” Toy Type-G-spot/P-Spot/Clit Combo
But then I remember, there are over 18 kinds of orgasms, and I can’t knock her for likely enjoying the penetrative kind. No wonder the rose and womanizer have no appeal to her. They are clitoral stimulators and although the clitoris and g-spot are an extension of one another her trigger is deeper inside and a g-spot toy likely needs to be her choice. Possibly a silicone one that warms and vibrates so that she can enjoy the penetration when she is alone. Cordless G-Spot stimulators are perfect for you controlling how deep and how fast.
So handsome, today you need some ‘me time’ and maybe that includes some P-spot (prostate) action and anal play to get the job done. There is also a toy for that and since you are being honest about what blows your load, you may as well treat yourself. If you and your partner happen to enjoy penetration wait until it’s a mutual masturbation session and you penetrate one another and watch as the other pleasures themselves at the other end of your selection. It is fucking bliss.
“Ima Put This Pussy On Him” Toy Type-Dildo/tentacle
Now let’s say that you are Soror Hop Up On Top and Ride Dick Down… it is your jam, you like to see how long your Megan knees got each round and the phrase “get up there” is not one you shy away from. You are definitely a dildo person, the super suction, life-like, place me anywhere, pound me because I don’t pound back kind and that too, is ok. You enjoy doing the work and the feel of his body going limp beneath you as he succumbs to how your pelvis and hips create a rhythm that rock that man to sleep. Some of us get aroused by the thought of having to work for it, which makes the journey to dildo pleasure even more worth the sweat.
With all the colors, sizes, textures and variations of length girth and aesthetic, go ahead and get you a 10-inch purple tentacle dildo and have at it love. Use lube.
Resolution
Our sexual compatibility matters with our toys as much as it does with our partners the communication line is just different. You are it and you have to be real about what you enjoy so you can experience pleasure on fuller spectrum. Your toys are an extension of you and since you are responsible for your pleasure if you are not satisfied that’s on you to fix. Take the time to explore the textures, flavors and sensations that make you feel alive daily be consciously aware of how things peak your sexual curiosity and even arouse you. Things that make you tingle but with delight are a great place to start when choosing a toy that matches you. Your toys should make you want them and intrigue you. They should aid in your arousal and lead to orgasm so that your pleasure is all you are left to recover from.
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